Infinite Memories at the Edge of Tomorrow (Non-spoiler film review)

June 8, 2014

Edge of Tomorrow is the worst marketed film of the summer. It dropped the source material's awesome name, All You Need Is Kill, and its trailer was super depressing. The only thing the film had going for it was the star power of Emily Blunt (she was great in Looper) and the vision of Doug Liman (loved his Bourne triology).

Then there's the Tom Cruise issue. I grew up on Cruise's films (Top Gun, Mission: Impossible, Minority Report) but it's hard for me to support a guy who outright denies the science of psychology and rejects the treatment of mental illness.

Why did I see Edge of Tomorrow? As I mentioned a few weeks ago, I'm a sucker for time travel paradoxes.

A Surprisingly Fun Film

Emily Blunt uses a scifi sword against an alien in Edge of Tomorrow. — Emily Blunt uses a scifi sword against an alien in *Edge of Tomorrow.*

Despite all of that baggage, Edge of Tomorrow works. It’s got a fun déjà vu premise with the main character, Cage, reliving the same day over and over (like Groundhog Day, Star Trek: The Next Generation's "Cause and Effect", and Source Code). What's new is the way events are re-experienced. Things unfold much like a video game. Cage fights aliens, dies, restarts a level, and gets a little bit farther in the battle before dying and respawning again. The action is fun, Blunt’s character kicks a lot of butt, and it’s great to see Cruise play someone who isn't (at least at first) the traditional Cruise action hero. There's also lots of humor sprinkled throughout the film. My only complaints are the film’s boring final boss battle and forgettable score (they should have just used the Halo soundtrack).

How Memory Works

Tom Cruise's Cage begins the film without any knowledge of fighting a war.

The psychology of Edge of Tomorrow is also a fun thought experiment. I'm not talking about the exosuits (check out Nerdist for more on that). I was more interested in the film’s depiction of memory. If you accept the premise that someone could re-experience the same events over and over again, how would that impact their memories?

The human memory system is a combination of limited and infinite capacities. When you see or hear something, the details last for a couple of seconds before they fade away. Some call this sensory memory. You can experience this yourself by looking at the words on this screen and then immediately closing your eyes. How long did the image of the screen stay in your mind? Probably less than 2 seconds.

Important information (like hearing your name in a crowded room) gets past sensory memory and enters working memory. We used to call this short-term memory. Working memory is like a desk where new information (like the text on this screen) gets combined with stuff you've learned from the past (things you remember from watching Edge of Tomorrow). Most people can hold 5 - 9 chunks of information in working memory. Stuff that gets practiced (repeating a phone number in your head) or thought about a lot ("I wonder how many times Tom Cruise relived the same day?") moves past working memory and enters long-term memory.

This is where things get interesting. Unlike sensory and working memory, long-term memory has an infinite capacity. It's pretty reliable, but works much better if you're in a situation that's a lot like the one where you originally created the memory. Try thinking of the lyrics to one of your favorite songs right now…it's kind of hard right? But if the accompanying music started playing, the lyrics would rush into your head. Context helps us remember long-term memories.

A great TED talk on how memory works:

Context Improves Memory

Context makes it easier to remember the stuff that's important for right now. We're a lot better at recognizing people, places, and things when we see them in their natural environment. You can easily identify neighbors when you notice them near your home but if you see the same people in another part of town it's much harder to know who they are.

We're also much better at context and recognition than we are at remembering specific events (episodic memories). Go to a dinner party and you'll immediately know if you met someone before but you might not be able to remember their name. Why are we built like this? Evolution decided long ago that it was more important for us to recognize a tiger as a threat than to remember specific details about the animal. Try it for yourself – can you remember what you had for dinner on your last birthday? Probably not. But if I gave you four different options, you'd recognize the correct answer.

Getting back to Edge of Tomorrow, the more Cage relives the same day, the more he begins to remember. New situations become familiar because context helps him remember what's about to happen next (like a secret card game, where an alien is about to strike, or suspicious guards with yellow armbands). The ability to recognize details in contexts becomes Cage’s superpower.

Cage remembers every conversation he has, which could happen after many respawns.

Remember though, both sensory memory and working memory have limited capacities. Even if we relive a day a second time, we wouldn't be able to remember everything because we don’t create memories for everything. A lot of data is lost and only the important stuff gets into long-term memories. From his first respawn, Cage is able to remember everything that was said around him. That's not how memory works! I could imagine him remembering a lot of details after many respawns though. If we do something a bunch of times, it becomes a procedural memory. Memories about riding a bike, playing Super Mario Bros., dialogue from your favorite movie, or commuting to work are all procedural memories. These memories are recalled without any effort and are rarely forgotten, even if you have Alzheimer’s. Most of what Cage does by the end of the film is based on procedural memories (e.g. awesome exoskeleton gymnastics).

Memories are Imperfect Recreations

Since this moment happened so many times, Cage's memories should have started to blend together.

There is a problem with a memory system that’s based on context, recognition, and procedures. When we do the same thing a bunch of times, we can start blending different memories together. You might remember Jamie, Adam, and Mariam all coming over to watch a hockey game with you even though Jamie wasn’t actually there. Why the false memory? Because Jamie is usually there. In Edge of Tomorrow, Cage should have confused a bunch of events from his numerous respawns, but that never happens.

Contrary to most Hollywood films, our memories aren't perfect recordings of what happened. Each time we think of something, new information gets combined with old information in working memory. Think of memories like a live concert - the same song always sounds different depending on the venue, how the band is performing that day, and how we feel at the concert. There are infinite ways in which we experience the same memory, depending on the context where’re in and how we’re feeling.

Overall, Edge of Tomorrow tells an entertaining story that gets the psychology of memories mostly right. I probably enjoyed the film, despite my opposition to Cruise’s personal beliefs, because of the context. It’s easy for me to experience the work he does within action films. Outside that role though, it’s hard to recognize who he’s become.

For more on the video game feel of Edge of Tomorrow, check out /Filmcast's discussion of the film. AV Club also has a great review. You can hear me discuss Edge of Tomorrow on this week's Super Fantastic Nerd Hour podcast.

The Good, Bad, and Ugly Psychology of Comic-Con

May 28, 2014

When non-geeks find out I'm a geeky psychologist, we always end up talking about comic-cons.

"What's the deal with all those weird people who dress up?"

"You mean cosplay?" I reply. "It's a cool way to celebrate a character you love, kinda like Halloween. I cosplay as Captain Kirk all the time."

"X-Men and the Avengers are cool but I'm not one of those loners who can't separate fiction from reality."

It always bums me to hear that, people discounting something they haven't tried.

"Comic-con people are actually really friendly. Some of the coolest people I know I randomly met at a convention."

And then there’s my favorite...

"There's got to be something wrong with people who go to comic-cons! Why would anyone stand in line for hours just to see a glimpse of a new movie?"

"People stand in line for all kinds of things they're excited about like a special sale, a new amusement park ride, their favorite band, or a big sports game."

Since this conversation keeps coming up, I wanted to set the record straight and share my guide to geek conventions. I present to you now the good, bad, and ugly psychology of comic-cons.

What’s comic-con?

Comic book conventions are just one type of fan gathering. There are others – Star Trek conventions, Star Wars celebrations, video game and tabletop gaming expos, anime conventions, and many more. Regardless of the focus, they're all organized the same way. You can attend panels to learn about a topic, see celebrities, talk to artists and writers, shop at huge exhibit halls, and meet people who like the same stuff you do.

Some of my favorite memories from past comic-cons:

What separates comic-cons from other fan gatherings is how popular they've become. Take San Diego Comic-Con for example. It started as a small meeting of 300 people in 1971 and grew to fit into the San Diego Convention Center in the 1990s. Everything changed in the early 2000s when X-Men and Spider-Man launched the superhero film genre. Soon after, Hollywood moved into San Diego Comic Con to promote their films directly to fans. As a result, San Diego Comic-Con has grown to become the largest fan gathering in the United States with over 130,000 attendees. It’s also expanded beyond comic books and focuses on all aspects of pop culture.

A beginner's guide to comic-cons:

San Diego Comic-Con's formula is being replicated across the world. While they vary in size and quality, chances are there's a comic-con happening near you sometime soon. For better or worse, we're in the middle of a comic-con explosion right now (read more about that at the SDCC Unofficial Blog).

The good: It’s all about people

The main reason most people go to a comic-con is to meet people.

Surprised? Don’t be. The stereotype that geeks are loners who don’t care about social interaction is completely false. Geeks love making new friends and comic-cons make it easy to find other people who love the same things you do. It’s like baseball fans going to a sports bar on game day.

Hanging out with my friends is always the best part of comic-con. San Diego Comic Con 2013.

Wanting to connect with people is hard-wired into our psychology. It might even be our most important evolutionary advantage as a species. The brain prioritizes social relationships so much that when it’s doing nothing, the brain’s default setting is to keep itself prepared for social situations. That’s why it’s so easy to strike up a conversation at a comic-con – our brains are always ready to talk about our geeky interests.

That’s one of the coolest things about conventions – they lead to new friendships. From Geek Therapist Josué Cardona to Larry “Dr. Trek” Nemecek and film journalist Aaron Neuwirth, I’ve met a ton of cool people at comic-cons. We know friendships improve immune system functioning, increase lifespan, and are the most important part of recovery from traumatic experiences. I can personally attest to this because comic-cons helped me grow as a person.

Our social brains are also the reason why so many people are interested in seeing celebrities at comic-cons. We’ve evolved to stay up to date on what our friends and acquaintances are up to. Because we see celebrities on TV, films, and websites all the time, our brains think of them as being part of our social network. Sitting in on a panel with Robert Downey Jr. or getting an autograph from Zoe Saldana is just another way of connecting with people you care about.

But there’s more to the celebrity stuff. Comic-cons give you the opportunity to talk directly to content creators. If you sit in on enough panels, you’ll notice a pattern – fans talk about how much a particular story means to them. Battlestar Galactica, next to being one of the best scifi shows of all time, means a lot to me. It helped me cope with a stressful period of my life. I also use it in my lectures to talk about the psychology of gender, politics, war, and peace. That’s why I go out of my way to meet actors from Battlestar Galactica at comic-cons. I want to thank them for their part in creating a story that has brought me so much joy.

Gratitude has been described as a “super emotion” that not only helps the person expressing it but also lifts up the mood of all those who witness it. In experimental studies gratitude has been shown to undo negative emotions, make positive emotions last longer, improve resilience to stress, increase helping behavior, and improve physical health. It’s not just attendees who experience gratitude at comic-cons, but celebrities too. Here’s what Joss Whedon had to say about attending San Diego Comic-Con:

Someone will say, “You helped me through a hard time in my life with this show.” For a long time I thought, “That’s so sweet and lovely they’re responding to the work.” And then I realized, “Oh, I was helping me through a hard time with that show, too.” I was a different version of them. We’re almost like a support group.

Part of collecting and cosplaying is also about expressing who you are in social situations. People buy stuff for 3 main reasons – to get tools, increase safety, or build an identity. Buying toys, t-shirts, posters, and collectibles communicates to the world who we are and what we care about (though sometimes we can get carried away). That’s also why people cosplay – it’s a public celebration of a character that means something to you. For more on that, check out Andrea Letamendi and Robin Rosenberg’s research on the psychology of cosplay.

The Bad: Comic-cons exhaust your body, mind, and wallet

Comic-cons are exhausting experiences.

People are on their feet all day, walk miles across a convention center floor, and eat bad (and overpriced) convention center food. Lots of attendees get dehydrated because they just don’t get enough water. All of this makes people feel weak, dizzy, and confused.

Combine physical exhaustion with massive crowds and it makes sense why so many people feel stressed at comic-cons. Anxiety at comic-cons can be triggered by thinking that you have no where to escape to, feeling like it’s hard to breath, being stuck in a crowded space, and hot flashes or cold chills. People with an anxiety disorder, especially panic disorder or agoraphobia, might have an especially hard time (for a good discussions about this, check out Wil Wheaton’s blog).

The overall convention experience can wear you down. New York Comic Con 2010.

Most of the time, if you stick with the situation long enough the anxious feeling will disappear. Sometimes all you need is a break, some water, or a snack. If the convention offers it (like PAX East did this year), take advantage of the wellness rooms for a break from the crowds. If the feelings don’t disappear and these types of situations are always hard for you, then you might want to consider additional help before your next comic-con adventure.

There’s also the horror of waiting in a lot of very long lines. Research has shown being bored while in line, not knowing how long you’re going to be in a line, and not knowing if you’re going to make it into the thing you’re waiting for makes people agitated. This stuff happens ALL THE TIME at comic-cons. I waited 2 hours at New York Comic Con to see a Walking Dead panel. I didn’t get in, was really upset, and felt like I wasted my afternoon.

Everything at a comic-con has a long wait. WonderCon 2013. — *Everything* at a comic-con has a long wait. WonderCon 2013.

Turns out how you feel at the very end of a line is very important – if the line speeds up or it took less time than anticipated, you feel really good about the experience no matter how long you waited. If the line ends badly, you’re going to be very upset at the people responsible. Disney has mastered this kind of stuff – they advertise longer wait times than reality so you think the line went by faster than it did, their queues are full of entertaining stuff so you’re not bored, and the length of a line is always hidden so people aren’t turned off by the sight of an enormous slow moving line. Comic-cons could benefit from copying Disney’s tactics.

Want to avoid the drain of lines? Find something to occupy yourself (like comic books). Or better yet, make a friend by talking to the person next to you. Not only does is that person also excited about whatever you are waiting for, but lines feel like they’re moving faster when you’re with a buddy.

I cope with long lines by getting to know the people around me. San Diego Comic Con 2013.

Some of the longest lines at comic-cons are to purchase exclusive products. These are usually collectibles that are in limited supply and only available at the convention. These situations make you feel scarcity, like you don’t have as much of something you need. Scarcity of anything, whether it’s a ticket to the convention, an exclusive action figure or a variant cover, literally gives us FOMO (fear of missing out). We believe exclusive items are very important, we constantly think about them, and our willpower drops when we are around them. Scarcity is part of our brain’s basic software – if something near us is important and rare, we’ve learned to take advantage of it now because this opportunity might not come again. It’s the same stuff that goes into the psychology of Black Friday (the biggest shopping day in America).

How do you attend comic-con without draining your wallet? Do you research and check out comic-con exclusives way before the convention. Make a list of what you really want and then set aside some extra money for impulse buys. If you want to stick to your budget, keep cash in your wallet and hide your credit card for emergency use only. When you’ve got everything on your list and you’re out of cash, leave the exhibit hall.

The Ugly: People can do horrible things in large groups

It's easy to feel lost in a crowd at comic-cons. New York Comic Con 2012.

People are capable of doing very ugly things when they feel anonymous in a large group.

Over the last few years, there’s been a lot of discussion about harassment at comic-cons. At 2013’s New York Comic-Con, a TV crew harassed a series of mostly female cosplayers. Just a few months ago, a sexist t-shirt labeled “I like fangirls how I like my coffee – I hate coffee” was found at WonderCon. Then there’s the constant unwanted physical contact and verbal harassment that makes it unsafe for many women to cosplay. None of this is specific to comic-cons, it’s part of a larger sexism problem in the geek community (and it’s a lot worse online).

Check out Jennifer Landa’s awesome “fake geek girl” satire:

Why does this kind of stuff happen at comic-cons? Very large gatherings like the big comic-cons (San Diego & New York Comic-Con), concerts (Coachella), parades (Mardi Gras), and sporting events (World Cup) can lead to deindividuation. People feel anonymous, like they’re a part of a crowd and not an individual person. This makes it easier for people to do stupid things because they’re not worried about what other people will think of them. It also makes people very emotional and easily influenced by what others are doing. Deindividuation is a lot worse when drugs or alcohol are involved (which is a problem at concerts, parades, and sports, not comic-cons). Lack of sleep can also increase the risk of deindividuation (that is a problem at conventions).

Deindividuation isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It all depends on what’s happening around you. If someone is in danger, a few people standing up to help could lead to a surge of support from a crowd. But if no one stands up against harassment, others will join in and the problem continues. For us to remove this ugly behavior from conventions, we have to engage the whole geek community and make it clear that harassment won’t be tolerated. The science here is definitive – all it takes is one person to speak up against harassment in a crowd to change the entire dynamics of the group.

When it's good, it's great! When it's bad, it's still pretty good.

Yes, bad things can happen and the whole experience of comic-con is exhausting. But when you read what people remember most about comic-con, they’re powerful examples of gratitude, altruism, and comradely. Comic-cons help people connect, be true to themselves, and grow. The best cons, like San Diego Comic-Con or DragonCon, expand to citywide celebrations. But even the small neighborhood conventions give you a chance to meet cool people. That’s why I love the current explosion of comic-con culture – they’re making the world a better place. As Neil deGrasse Tyson said:

“If Comic-Con people ruled the world, the future would be invented daily and warfare would be nothing more than bar fights with toy lightsabers. That is the world I want.”

For more on the psychology of comic-con, check out my live discussion with the Unofficial SDCC Blog, download their audio podcast, or watch THE PSYCH SHOW below.

What is comic con? Why do people go to comic con? Why do people cosplay as superheroes and villains? Why do some people get harassed at comic con? And why are people willing to stand for hours in lines for panels and exclusives?

Days of Future Past Celebrates the Psychology of X-Men (Non-Spoiler Film Review)

May 25, 2014

Time-travel is my favorite type of science fiction story. It lets us see dystopian futures, wander into nostalgic pasts, explore cause and effect, and visit characters at key moments in their lives – all within the same story.

That's why X-Men: Days of Future Past, a beloved X-Men comic and an awesome episode of X-Men: The Animated Series, was my most anticipated movie of the 2014 summer season. Despite stumbling in a couple of areas, the film sets a new standard for superhero films because it celebrates everything that makes the X-Men unique.

Uniting the X-Men Franchise

X-Men: Days of Future Past brings together the X-Men film franchise. — *X-Men: Days of Future Past* brings together the X-Men film franchise.

The X-Men continuity is expansive. There are six X-Men films (3 good, 2 bad, 1 in between). Each is loaded with mutants. Some have been played by multiple actors. Major characters have died, only to return in subsequent films. It's all rather confusing (just like the X-Men comics).

Miraculously, Days of Future Past ties it all together. I'm not just talking about references and cameos (though there are plenty of those). It feels like everything from the original X-Men trilogy to the solo Wolverine films and the First Class prequel are converging on this story. At the same time, the movie remains accessible enough for casual fans to enjoy.

Days of Future Past pulls this off because it focuses on the essential story of the X-Men – a persecuted group of people coming together to promote understanding.

Prejudice and Empathy

Dr. Bolivar Trask has no empathy for mutants.

The film is about survival. Magneto's Brotherhood wants to end mutant persecution. Dr. Bolivar Trask's Sentinel program is an attempt to protect humanity from the threat of mutants. Both groups work towards their own self-interests. Only Professor Charles Xavier and his X-Men want coexistence.

These group relationships are based on real science and highlight one of the most nefarious principals in social psychology – the ingroup/outgroup bias. People consistently prefer their own group to others. Even when psychologists randomly assign individuals to groups for no reason at all, people will like the group they are in and dislike outside groups. This finding is stronger when you believe your group is being persecuted in some way (like Magneto and Trask).

There are good reasons why mutants and humans have such a strong bias against each other. Magneto doesn't believe mutants are the same species as non-mutants (even though they are). Growing up in the Holocaust, he has seen the inhumanity of humans first hand and has no empathy for them. Trask fears that mutants could result in the extinction of humanity (kinda like what happened to the Neanderthals). By hunting mutants and experimenting on them, Trask believes humanity can build strong defenses against their threat. It's easy for Trask to justify his actions because many mutants don't look like humans and the less something looks like us the less empathy we have for it.

We don't see Magneto or Trask as villains though. We know both characters are only trying to help their own groups. Unlike the Marvel’s Cinematic Universe, which has failed to create any memorable villains outside of Loki, Days of Future Past gives us multiple antagonists with complex motivations.

Why don't the X-Men show the same prejudice as Magneto or Trask? The ingroup/outgroup bias is overcome when people learn about other each other, come into continuous contact, and experience empathy. Charles Xavier has dedicated his life to promoting these exact goals at his School for Gifted Youngsters. Why does Professor X care so much about mutants and humans? His telepathic powers give him the ability to see past group differences. Having read so many minds, Xavier knows that humanity and mutants are both guided by the same basic thoughts, feelings, and behavior.

It's too bad the writers of every X-Men film feel the need to depower Professor X in some way. The explanation of how this occurs in Days of Future Past just doesn't scientifically make sense given what we know about the human nervous system.

Cooperation and Teamwork

Diversity makes the X-Men a stronger team.

Another way to overcome prejudice, at least temporarily, is by finding a common goal. We see this throughout Days of Future Past. Humans consider working together to stop the mutant threat. Trask even calls stopping mutants a "common struggle" that could unite all of humanity. Meanwhile, Magneto and Xavier (in both past and future) collaborate to fight the Sentinel program.

There is a scientific basis for this type of cooperation. In Muzafer Sharif's robbers cave study, groups of boys who hated each other learned to get along when they had no choice but to cooperate. These types of superordinate goals sometimes lead to long-term cooperation (the 12 British colonies coming together to form the United States of America) while others alliances end after a goal is achieved (the US alliance with Russia to defeat Nazi Germany).

My favorite example of collaboration in this series is the X-Men team itself. Research has shown diversity makes a team stronger. Having people with different perspectives fights the dangers of groupthink and is why NASA recommends having a mixed gender crew on all of its missions. With the X-Men, the more diverse the team is in mutant powers, the greater their ability to achieve their goals. Check out the opening battle from Days of Future Past to see what I mean. Kitty Pryde, Bishop, Iceman, and Blink do much more as a team because of their different abilities.

That brings me to my second complaint – while the future X-Men are a diverse team, the X-Men of the past are a boys only club. Sure, Mystique plays a central role in the story (and Jennifer Lawrence is wonderful in the role), but I would have liked to see more key female characters working alongside Magneto and Professor X.

A Bold New Future

While much of the time-travel doesn't add up if you do the math, I really like where Days of Future Past ends. The mistakes of past films have been corrected and the future is wide open for new stories.

The next film, X-Men: Apocalypse, has already been described as a "disaster movie, extinction level event". If the producers are able to weave in the core elements that make the X-Men stories so compelling, as they did on this film, the franchise will continue evolving beyond what we typically see in the superhero genre.

Check out my guest appearance on Out Now with Aaron and Abe where we explore all things X-Men and Days of Future Past. To learn how Days of Future Past fits into the larger superhero genre of films, check out AV Club's review. I also like what Variety has to say about the lack of wide scale destruction in Days of Future Past. io9 does a nice job discussing the important relationships in the film.

The Healing Power of Stories

May 14, 2014

It's been one year since I wrote "The Parallel Universe Where My Brother Lives", the story of how I tried to move on after my brother's suicide. Re-reading the story now, I remember how painful it was for me to even think about my brother. But “Parallel Universe” doesn’t fit with who I am now. Writing, sharing, and talking about my story was tremendously healing. For this anniversary, I want to explore what it is about stories that can be so healing.

Stories validate strong emotions

Next to Normal honored what my family went through trying to support my brother. — *Next to Normal* honored what my family went through trying to support my brother.

Most of us feel like something is wrong when we're experiencing strong emotions. This happens to me a lot when I get mad. I remember running late to work one day and getting pushed into a dirty New York City puddle of water. I was soaking wet and smelled like sewer. All morning long I felt like I was losing my mind – I was furious, couldn't stop replaying the situation in my mind, and was flooded with criticizing thoughts ("You're so stupid for letting this happen to you").

It wasn't until I talked to a friend that I started to feel better. "I would have been so pissed off if that happened to me!" Hearing that helped me calm down. My friend helped me understand that my feelings made sense given the situation. The more she validated my feelings, the more comfortable I felt.

Validation is one of the main reasons why stories can be healing. By introducing characters who are experiencing similar situations, stories can make us feel less alone and make it easier to talk about what we're thinking and feeling. That's why coming of age films like The Breakfast Club, 10 Things I Hate About You, and The Perks of Being a Wallflower are so important – they validate the experience of being a teenager at a time when so much of the world can seem invalidating. It's also a big part of the psychology of cult TV shows like Firefly, Buffy, and Doctor Who.

Watching Broadway's Next to Normal was deeply validating for me. The musical is about a mother's struggle with bipolar depression and the impact it has on her family. Not only is the music beautiful (check out "I Miss the Mountains") but seeing the family’s struggle to support their loved one captured much of what happened to my family after my brother’s diagnosis.

Stories challenge stigma

Done right, stories can also reduce stigma about mental health. Many still believe problems with mental health are caused by personal weaknesses, that individuals should feel ashamed for their struggles, and treatment should be kept secret. We know this stigma has no basis in reality. Problems like anxiety and depression are caused by many biological, psychological, and environmental factors and affect a wide variety of people from all backgrounds. Stories can challenge these stigmatic beliefs and speak to the reality of mental health.

Often, the most helpful stories are true accounts of mental illness. That's why I'm a big fan of Glenn Close's Bring Change 2 Mind campaign, which encourages people to share their personal stories and start a dialogue about mental health.

Films such as A Beautiful Mind and books like The Boy Who Couldn't Stop Washing have also done a lot to tell the story of schizophrenia and obsessive compulsive disorder. I also love what Temple Grandin has to say about autism and why the world needs all kinds of minds.

Reading Willy Linthout’s graphic memoir Years of the Elephant, a story about a father's struggle to mourn his son's suicide, went a long way to challenge my stigma about suicide. I used to think “I should be able to cope with this” but Linthout’s story taught me that most people grieving from a suicide go through a complicated process that lasts for a very long time. The Live Through This project also made this think our culture might be ready for a conversation about suicide.

Stories demystify mental healthcare

Ellen Forney’s Marbles brings phenomenal clarity to the experience of therapy and medication. — Ellen Forney’s Marbles brings phenomenal clarity to the experience of therapy and medication.

Because of stigma, there’s a lot of confusion about what actually happens in therapy. Stories about mental healthcare have the power to demystify treatment. The best example of this is Ellen Forney’s graphic memoir Marbles. Forney shows what it’s like to be diagnosed with bipolar depression, what treatment with a psychiatrist looks like, the role of medication, and how things outside of traditional mental healthcare can help recovery. Marbles is a masterpiece in the world of graphic memoirs and should be required reading for all therapists in training.

I also use stories to explain what I am doing in treatment. As a cognitive behavioral therapist, I'm essentially a coach whose job it is to teach my patients new ways of coping with distressing feelings, intrusive thoughts, and challenging situations. Whenever I teach a patient a new skill, I link it to a story they're passionate about. Relaxation training becomes Jedi training, cognitive coping skills are linked to Harry Potter's patronus charm, and exposure therapy is grounded in Batman's origin story. That's what geek therapy means to me – using stories people love to make therapy more fun, relevant, and effective (for more on this topic listen to Geek Therapy's "How Comic Books Saved My Life" or read Dean Trippe's "Something Terrible" ).

Stories help us grow

Batman always reminded me that growth is possible after traumatic experiences.

So far, everything has focused on consuming stories. It turns out that creating your own story can also be very therapeutic.

Many scientists and clinicians believe that avoiding difficult thoughts and feelings is the common problem among all mental health concerns. Avoidance works in the short term but as a long term strategy it just ends up intensifying problems. Therapists Giorgio Nardone and Paul Watzlawick summarize this nicely:

“Clinical experience has shown that, ironically, it is often the patient’s very attempt to solve the problem that, in fact, maintains it. The attempted solution becomes the true problem.”

The solution is to help people experience all emotions, both the positive and the negative. That's the basis behind a number of effective treatments like exposure therapy, acceptance and commitment therapy, and the unified treatment for emotional disorders. Short-term focused writing about emotions can bring about many of the same effects. Psychologist James Pennebaker's research has shown that writing can reduce anxiety and depression while increasing immune functioning. Some therapies also integrate writing as a major part of treatment. Cognitive processing therapy, which is used to treat post-traumatic stress disorder, helps people get unstuck from their thoughts and develop meaning out of the events that have happened.

Just knowing that people can recover from traumatic experiences can make it possible for someone to start moving towards post-traumatic growth. Hearing stories about recovery from a loved one's suicide was key to my growth. My friend and colleague Melinda Moore shared her story with me, how recovery from her husband's suicide led her to become a psychologist who promotes suicide prevention. Hearing from her made me believe that I too could gain something from my loss.

Stories ignite social support

Following difficult emotional experiences, the single best predictor of recovery is how much support someone gets from their friends and family. That's what made my recovery so difficult – I didn't talk about my pain with anyone so I didn't get much social support. Of course people asked how I was doing but I ignored them because I wasn't ready to open up.

When I did finally share my story, I was overwhelmed by messages of support. It wasn't just people I knew, but also individuals I never met who went out of their way to let me know they wanted to help. To date, I've received over 3,000 messages in response to “Parallel Universe”. I save each one and re-read them on particularly tough nights.

Sharing a story, regardless of the way in which you do it, has the potential to activate a support network. One of my favorite examples of this comes from 7-year-old Katie Goldman. Katie was repeatedly bullied for bringing a Star Wars water bottle to school. Her mom wrote about the experience on her blog and asked for help. The story quickly spread across the internet. Here's how Katie's mom describes what happened next:

Katie is overjoyed by the comments coming in!!! My sweet first grade daughter has been sitting with me at the computer, reading aloud all the wonderful, supportive notes from readers, and her face is shining...We are going to print the comments out and make a book for her to read whenever she feels the need. Today she wore a Star Wars shirt to school and said to me, "Tell the people about it!!!!" This is really restoring her self confidence. She did a jaunty little pirouette in her Star Wars shirt before school.

The future of "Parallel Universe"

The stories we develop about ourselves shape our behavior, filter our memories, and inform our decisions about the future. My story is now forever linked with "Parallel Universe". Every month it's the most widely read article on Brain Knows Better and it’s what I’m most known for outside of my professional work.

Like other survivors of suicide, a part of my life is now dedicated to promoting suicide prevention and helping others who are experiencing complicated grief. That’s why I’m announcing a new project that will turn my story (Growing Up Trekkie, Parallel Universe, Most Honest Year of My Life) into a graphic memoir. I hope to share this new story with you in one year’s time at the third anniversary of “Parallel Universe”.

This was written in honor of Mental Health Month and the American Psychological Association's Mental Health Blog Day. To hear more about the healing power of stories, check out the Super Fantastic Nerd Hour mental health episode.

The Psychology of Star Trek VS. Star Wars: Episode III at WonderCon 2014 (Recap)

May 4, 2014

The Psychology of Star Trek VS. Star Wars: Episode III, WonderCon, with Chase Masterson, Ali Mattu, Brian Ward, Catherine Taber, Andrea Letamendi

A couple of weeks ago, Dr. Andrea Letamendi and I brought our intergalactic scifi battle, The Psychology of Star Trek Versus Star Wars, back to the place it started – WonderCon! Actors Chase Masterson (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine) and Catherine Taber (Star Wars: The Clone Wars) joined the discussion with Brian Ward returning as referee.

While Episode I and Episode II focused on a variety of topics, for Episode III we narrowed the discussion to the science behind family, relationships, friendships, and bullying.

If you couldn’t make it, watch to the full panel and check out some of the highlights below. Special thanks to Nerdist’s Amy Ratcliffe for covering the panel!

Round 1: Parenting

Star Trek's Worf and Alexander, Star Trek's Anakin and Shimi

Brian: Let’s talk about the parent and child relationship in both franchises.

Andrea: The whole nature versus nurture debate is a myth. It’s actually a combination of nurture and nature. Parenting and the genetics of parents are very important, as are the environment in which people are raised. Star Wars understands that dynamic. The stories are very sophisticated. If you have a very nurturing parent, something in the environment may still cause a social or mental problem. Anakin is a good example of that. He had a very strong nurturing mother figure and grew up with a lot of social support from her. But unfortunately he goes through a lot of trauma and adversity losing her and Qui-Gon, another important parent figure to him.

Cat: It’s very interesting when you think about Anakin. You know how much he regrets losing his mother. I also wonder if not having a father made him more susceptible to Palpatine and his becoming a shadow father figure.

Ali: I agree with Andrea, which is not surprising since we’re both psychologists. It’s a little bit of both nature and nurture. If you think about genetics, the way we look and also the way we act, a lot of that is inherited. A lot of our temperament is genetic. Look no further than Commander Worf and Alexander Rozhenko. They’re both pretty stubborn bastards, right? Worf is very much set in his ways and Alexander is like, "I don’t want to be a Klingon!" That temperament is genetically inherited. Parents also play a big role with teenagers. The teenage brain is rapidly changing – it’s wired for learning and rewards. That’s why teens do stupid things. The front part of your brain, the frontal lobe, it doesn’t finish developing until you’re 20. So parents are really important in applying the brakes. We see this with Wesley Crusher in “The First Duty” where he and Rogue Squadron [correction: Nova Squadron] do all this stuff that ends in the ultimate death of a person. Picard is sort of a father figure and helps him to put on the brakes and remember to be true and honest. I think we see that with Leeta and Nog a bit – she becomes a bit of a mother figure in Nog’s life.

Chase: Leeta’s relationship with Nog and so many parent-child relationships in Trek are extremely complicated. As Ali referenced in Wil’s episode…you said “doody” by the way…

Ali: I was hoping no one noticed!

Chase: The beauty and complexity of these relationships is how pivotal they are in Star Trek. Part of the reason that Sisko was such a protective parent of Jake and why so much of the drama happened in terms of this family relationship was because they lost Sisko’s wife, Jake’s mom. That happens a lot in wartime. In a similar way, Leeta and Rom had Nog go off to war and when he came back and spent most of his time in a holosuite, which is comparable to a drug, it stopped our lives. Screw the war and everything else that is going on, this is all that matters. That pivotal element of the family is essential to Star Trek.

Round 2: Romance

Star Trek's Leeta and Rom, Star Wars's Padme and Anakin

Brian: Talk about the romances in these two franchises.

Ali: When you think about romance and love you’ve got passionate love and compassionate love. Passionate love is the lust you experience when you see someone you’re attracted to, when it feels like your brain is on a drug. It turns out that your brain actually looks like it’s on a drug. If you do a brain scan of someone who is lusting after their loved one and then a brain scan on someone who’s on cocaine, they look kinda the same. What’s going on is dopamine is firing in the brain, getting the party started, then you see someone you’re really attracted to and norepinephrine starts firing, kind of missile locking on that person. What causes this type of stuff? We’re attracted to people we’re similar to, people we see often, those who are familiar to us. One of the reasons why Leeta and Rom were attracted to each other is because they worked together and saw each other a lot. But the turning point, when we get to compassionate love, the type of love that is long lasting where oxytocin starts to flow which happens six months down the road, it’s about shared values. It’s not just alone being near someone and seeing them frequently, but seeing something in another person that you really care about. The turning point for Leeta and Rom is that episode when you all – wait that didn’t really happen, that was your character…I promised myself I wasn’t going to do that and I did. It’s when your character and Rom form that union against Quark and you see…err…your character saw Rom in a differently light where there was a shared value of caring about people around you. Leeta is a very kind person and that’s the shared value between you two.

Brian: Ali you gotta build a wall between Chase and Leeta.

Ali: I’m trying really hard to keep things separated…

Chase: It’s just a TV show.

Ali: NOOOOOOOOO!

[Chase rubs Ali’s ear]

Ali: OO-MOX! OO-MOX

Brian: WonderCon after hours!

Chase: Leeta and Rom really loved each other in that Star Trek sense which is seeing someone for who they are inside and seeing who they can be, having patience to nurture that, respect them while they grow. That was so true of them from the beginning. I don’t know about your zip code but it doesn’t work that way in mine.

Brian: Let’s talk about Star Wars.

Andrea: There’s a lot of research that shows your judgment is clouded when you’re in love. The Jedi were correct when they tried to keep Anakin away from Padme. Those brain-imaging studies do show that the parts of your brain that are responsible for critical thinking are really impacted by passionate love. Unfortunately, when you have a breakup and no longer are connected to the person, object, or robot you love the parts of the brain that are activated cause a lot of distress for a person. That leads to a lot of risk taking behavior, being out of control, and being impulsive. We see that in Revenge of the Sith with Anakin. He’s really affected when Padme arrives on Mustafar. Anakin really believes this delusion that she’s aligned with Obi-Wan. He starts engaging in a lot of risk taking behavior. He already started on that path but this event pushes him over the edge.

Cat: Anakin and Padme’s “secret relationship” is super sexy in the beginning, but it ends up being their downfall. Especially for Anakin when he starts experiencing these feelings and not being able to bounce it off someone. Calling your girlfriend, she can help talk you off the ledge. But in this case no one talked him off the ledge. This ultimately leads to their destruction. A secret relationship sounds kinda sexy but it’s not worth it in the end.

Ali: One thing you see in both of your guys’ relationships…err…both romances, sorry I’m working on this, is the cross-cultural aspect. Whether it was Ferengi and Bajoran culture or breaking the Jedi Code, both franchises talk about the struggle that occurs when you have two cultures colliding in a relationship.

Round 3: Loving Stuff

Star Trek's Scotty and Picard, Star Wars's Lando and Han Solo

Brian: The great Montgomery Scott said, “It’s like the first time you fall in love – you don’t ever love a woman like that again.” Of course he’s not talking about a woman, he’s taking about a starship – the Enterprise 1701 – no bloody A, B, C, or D. And of course Han gets a bit teary eyed when he thinks he may never see the Falcon again. It’s a unique kind of love these people have about stuff. What it is about human beings and stuff?

Andrea: I’m guilty of having relationships with stuff. I’m a collector of many things – action figures, comics, and I understand this relationship with stuff. This type of strong bond with a ship is not a fictional thing. Research has gone into material love, it’s called material possession love. Most of the research has focused on cars, computers, and guns. The people who had the strongest attachments, the ones that said things like, “I don’t want anyone else to touch her” or “I would be devastated if I didn’t have this object”, lacked interpersonal relationships. The closer people were bonded to these things the more they were living isolated lifestyles where they were missing out on a lot of social support. It’s the chicken and egg thing – the more time you spend with a thing the less time you’re going to be available for people and get social support. But maybe people are attached to things because they don’t as much support.

Ali: I promise this will make sense in a moment. I went to my first Star Trek convention in 5th grade. It was a few months before Star Trek: Generations was about to come out and we all thought it was going to be a good movie. I bought a copy of the Star Trek: The Next Generation Technical Manual. Anyone own a copy of that in here? [A handful of the audience raises their hands] Alright, a few fans of the technical manual. It’s basically a manual of how the Star Trek technology works. On the top half is the fiction side of it. “The Heisenberg compensator compensates for the Heisenberg uncertainty principle.” And on the bottom it’s like, “yeah we don’t know how this works, it’s totally not possible, it’s all made up.” I loved this book! It’s one of my prized possessions. Why do we have stuff? We have some stuff for tools. Is the technical manual a tool for me? No, it doesn’t help me build a Heisenberg compensator. Does it provide me with some safety or security? Not really, if it’s raining I’m not going to put this thing over my head because I don’t want it to get ruined. But does it build my sense of identity? Does it add to my personal history of who I am? It does do that. Does it bring up nostalgia? Absolutely. What is nostalgia? It reminds us of the past, not just past events, but important past relationships. Nostalgia is a part of the psychological immune system that goes, “hey, remember those important people in your life, reach out to them, you don’t know how much time you have with them.” That’s why we have stuff. Getting back to the Enterprise and Falcon, for Scotty it’s about his relationship with Kirk and the adventures they went on. For Han, it’s about his relationship with Chewie and all the things they did together. That’s why we buy stuff and that’s why I bought a ton of stuff this weekend.

Brian: For Han couldn’t it also be his love of having beaten Lando out of the Falcon? Cat, anything from your past? Any “stuff” you can’t give up?

Cat: I’m a collector too, definitely. I collect figures. But I never had a love of stuff. When I got my first car I was in love with it but it did wear off for me. I see this love of stuff with some people more than others. I wonder if there are factors that make people more susceptible to that? But when I think about my car for instance at that time with my lifestyle it was a part of my home. I put so much time and effort into that car. It’s not just a car, it’s my car. It was a source of pride.

Brian: Chase, anything from your past?

Chase: I don’t get into stuff that much. I don’t shop, I’m not into clothes, and I try to force myself not to get into tangible things. I can see how it is so absolutely important because I will on the other hand relish a note that I made when I was talking to somebody. I will cherish it because of the connection and relationship to that other person. That’s what really brings things to life for me. I can see where the things we are attached to are more than an object. Quark and his latinum for instance – it’s not about the actual money, it’s about the power and prestige, the idea that he’s arrived and perhaps someday will be the Nagus. It’s interesting to see how it all comes back to love. For Sisko, the station was so extremely important because of the memories and relationships, the things that took place there.

Round 4: Friendships

Star Trek's Kirk and Spock, Star Wars's Han Solo, Chewie, Luke, and Leia

Brian: The two franchises both have a very strong connection to familial bonds – whether you’re part of a crew or part of a family. Let’s talk about the friendships.

Ali: When it comes to friendships, the people you see often tend to become your friends. As a kid it might be the kid next door. At school it might be someone in your class. As an adult it’s your coworkers. Social relationships are incredibly important. You could argue that they’re the most important evolutionary advantage we have. Our brain prioritizes social relationships so much that when we’re doing nothing, when we’re just sitting still in a resting state, our brain’s default is to activate all the social neuro networks waiting for the next social situation. It’s getting us ready for the empathy and compassion. The more friends…well if we have friends…yeah I don’t know where I was going with that…if we have a close group of friends it helps us recover from illnesses faster and gives us a longer life span. But I think Leeta’s character had the opportunity to develop friendships. She worked in a bar and saw people on a very frequent basis. It was a lot tougher for Padme. Padme was a senator at a very young age and had to rule a star system…

Cat: A queen.

Ali: A queen?

Cat: A queen.

Ali: Right, a queen. This is why I’m on Team Trek. It’s harder to make friends when you’re the ruler and then the senator, especially in a time of war when so many people are trying to take your life. I’ve seen Clone Wars – there are A LOT of bounty hunters constantly going after Padme! There was much more opportunity for Leeta to make friends, much less for Padme.

Andrea: You’re my friend so I’m going to agree with you because this question is about friends.

[Audience laughs]

Andrea: No it’s true, we’re all friends.

Ali: Yup, we’re friends.

[Audience laughs, Andrea and Ali are confused]

Andrea: I talk about things like resilience and recovery and the single most powerful factor following a traumatic event or huge stressor is social support. We are social being and in order to recover from physical and emotional illness we rely on our close bonds. With this particular character that Cat voiced, as I recognize Cat is a separate person than her character…she’s particularly isolated. So when you see her have opportunities, like with Satine, they are able to relate to each other and can connect, you see Padme’s personality come out. Unfortunately that doesn’t happen a lot for her because of her role. It’s unfortunate because as we see later on she’s really someone who could have benefitted from social support.

Brian: Let’s go back and talk about Leeta’s relationship with the crew around her.

Chase: Of course relationships were the most important part of DS9. The show took place on a station and we didn’t have a place to go. The great adventure was inside ourselves and to each other in ways that Trek had not gone before. We had more opportunities for relationships and one of the themes was who really is your friend? Absolutely we had more opportunities for connectedness with people but you also don’t know who likes you and why, what’s the attraction is, how close can you get to this person, why do they like you? When Leeta is a dabo girl and Rom is Grand Nagus, it’s hard to know who your real friends are. One thing I really loved about DS9 is the people you don’t think are going to be friends, like Quark and Odo, do end up coming through for each other in ways you would have never expected. Sometimes it’s the most unexpected people who become your friends.

Brian: I think adversarial relationships are also just as important. We see that all over real life and fiction. Like Batman and Joke – wait, we’re not talking about Batman…

Andrea: To speak to the pilot episode of DS9, it deals with the idea that if you lose somebody and can’t let go of that person, you can’t move on. It took aliens with a higher power for Sisko to understand that he was unable to move forward and he was stuck in a relationship with his wife who was deceased. I was incredibly moved by that and thought it was extremely well done, psychologically.

Brian: Let’s talk about Padme and her close group.

Cat: It seems like some people need friends and people around them more than other people do. Padme is more of an introvert. She’s needs people less than others. Also, because of the way she grew up she was always surrounded by people, handmaidens or bodyguards, therefore she valued moments when she was alone or just with Anakin. I totally agree that if you become so isolated that you can’t trust anyone and share your feelings, it makes hard to reach out and get help.

Ali: There’s actually research on that – the more lonely people are, the more threats they see in the environment. If you contrast the prequel and Clone Wars stories with the original trilogy, wait what are we going to call the new films…there’s the prequel trilogy, original trilogy, and the sequel trilogy? I don’t know…but if you look at Luke, Leia, and Han their friendship develops in a different set of circumstances and they have each other to rely on. I don’t think Leia experiences the type of loneliness that Padme does because of the circumstances in which they meet. And then there’s the weird stuff with Luke and Leia…but we don’t need to get into that. I just want to put it out there.

Brian: Ouch…you had to go there!

Round 5: Bullying

Star Trek's Spock, Star Wars's Anakin and Watto

Brian: Let’s jump outside the franchises. Something that’s very important to everyone on this panel is something we as fans deal with quite a bit so we’d be remiss if we didn’t talk about bullying. Does everyone know Katie the “Star Wars girl”? She was bullied for taking a Star Wars water bottle to school. Cat saw this story online and made it her mission to gather people and support Katie. Chase has teamed up with Katie’s mother, Carrie, who wrote a fantastic booked called Bullied: What every parent, teacher, and kid needs to know about ending the cycle of fear. The two of you have teamed up to create the Anti-Bullying Coalition. Everyone on this panel works with children on a regular basis, including the two doctors, and deals with the problem of bullying. Let’s talk about this problem.

Andrea: It’s not a new problem but what is new is the internet and the bullying process. I grew up in a time when people said, “suck it up, get over it, get a thick skin, this is a right of passage, everyone goes through it.” But when you see the true impact of bullying, there’re long standing psychological repercussions including anxiety, depression, and PTSD. I do want to be clear bullying happens in a different way because of the internet. The anonymity of the internet can generate more bullying behavior. It’s a struggle to identify it and intervene with it.

Brian: Andrea you’re a trainer and Ali you work with this on a case by case basis. Talk about your experiences with it.

Ali: My experiences are both professional and personal. I got into Star Trek with Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country around 4th grade. I didn’t realize that Star Trek wasn't cool. I thought it was very cool! I used to bring my Star Trek stuff to school all the time. When I got to middle school, there was a group of students who came to school with their Star Trek shirts and were bullied. I stood by and I did nothing. I did nothing because everyone did nothing. I learned a lesson that day – Star Trek isn’t cool. Don’t talk about it otherwise you’ll get beat up. Moving forward, I was at high school and reading the Star Trek 30th Anniversary Magazine at a bookstore. A bunch of guys came in, started yelling at me, and said a bunch of derogatory things to me. It took years and years and years to undo that psychological damage until I was able to talk about Star Trek. It wasn’t until my fiancée over there [points at audience] was able to help me…wait, I should mention her name, Nhu-An Le is your name and I love you, until my fiancée was able to encourage me to be a proud geek and then the good doctor over here [points to Andrea] helped me figure out how to weave these things together – that’s how this panel came to be. The way we change this is by changing the culture. Make it unacceptable to see bullying and just stand by. We know the research on conformity – it only takes one person to stand up and change the situation. That’s exactly what Cat and Chase are doing here. They’re creating awareness and making it cool to stop these things from happening.

Brian: Cat and Chase let’s talk about your thoughts on bullying.

Chase: This is the type of program that needs to happen at conventions –the real world meeting the shows we love. I’m excited about our coalition. Our mission is to let people know that there are choices when you see someone being bullying or when you are being bullied. There’re strategies to reduce the chances of being a victim to this. How many of you guys have been bullied? [Audience raises hands] See it’s the overwhelming majority. We want to show kids that there’re options. Most bullying stops if there is just one person that intervenes. There are ways we can support each other and help people know that things get better. It’s like the Star Trek quote, “If you strike me down I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.” Wait did I just go to the dark side?

Ali: Yeah that’s a Star Wars quote. But judge you by your words I do not.

Chase: I’m sorry!

Cat: The reason I responded to this is because it breaks my heart to think that a little kid would feel so bad for no reason. I wanted Katie to know that I think she’s cool and a lot of other people think she’s cool too. It’s not just about talking to kids who are being bullied, it’s also about talking to kids who aren’t being bullied. We need to make sure we teach our kids that if someone is being mistreated it doesn’t take a huge gesture to help. It can be as simple as saying “hey that’s not cool”. That can stop bullying. If we’re kind to each other and stick up for each other then the bad guys don’t stand a chance. That’s one of the things I love about Star Wars – you have this group of a ragtag people coming together fighting for good. I believe that good always wins. But of course I am light side. Empowering kids to stand up for themselves and for each other is what we need to do. Of course when things get dangerous you have to involve adults and with the internet today that can happen quickly. Even with Instagram one of my nieces was telling me how people post comments about pictures being ugly. I think it would go a long way if people said, “hey that’s not cool.”

Andrea: Microaggressions are a form of bullying. It’s when someone says something that sounds harmless but it’s actually demeaning. They’re often race or gender based statements. We need to fold microaggressions into the concept of bullying. For example, sometimes people have met me and said, “your English is really good” or “you sound very articulate”. It’s kinda like a backhanded compliment. I talk about microaggressions a lot when it comes to female geeks because a lot of times I’m asked “oh are you buying those comics for your boyfriend or kids?” Each time I have to say, “Oh no I don’t have any kids and those action figures are for me.” When I write about this topic I point to both sides as being responsible for this interaction. The person implying that my entry into the geek world is because of a male is an accusation that doesn’t sit well with me. But did you notice I get defensive and I’m very quick to get back at him? That’s not me. Because of this microaggression, the interaction became intense and I didn’t get the chance to tell the person “actually I’m a big fan of Batman: The Animated Series, let’s talk about that”. I could potentially connect with that person and correct his idea that I’m not there for me. It’s a two way street.

Ali: Let’s think about the idea of microaggression. You might be thinking “well that’s just one little comment.” But think of the cumulative impact of that. Let’s say people continue to claim you’re a “fake geek girl” and that happens all the time in lots of situations. That’s going to have a huge impact on you down the road, where you go, what you do. The other thing Cat was talking about with social media and Instagram, one of the biggest challenges we have is the way a lot of these technologies have evolved is that they strip us of our humanity. It turns out that one of the most important ways of having empathy for someone else online is through eye contact. How much eye contact do we have on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram? It’s very easy to do stupid things online with social media. A lot of the comments that become bullying happen very quickly, spiral out of control, and have a huge impact on people. This’s why I love places like this where we can come together and build a community to support each other and take some action again this. That’s how we’re going to solve this problem.

Chase: Another important part of this is not just that we need to form a culture of tolerance. We need to form a culture of love. Just true grit supportive yay you wherever you are love. Support for each other and celebration of each other’s differences.

Ali: We have four words in Trek: Infinite Diversity, Infinite Combinations.

Brian: What does Star Wars have?!?

Cat: “The force is strong with you.”

Episode IV

Andrea and I are currently developing the next phase of the panel and hope to continue the debate with Episode IV later this year. Got a topic you want to see us debate? Let us know in the comments below.

For more highlights from this convention, check out the WonderCon 2014 episode of the Super Fantastic Nerd Hour.